Divorce can be an extraordinarily emotional process. Emotions are irrational, and when mixed with anger, can be irreversibly destructive. In almost all instances, the last person you want as an enemy is the spouse you want to divorce. Because of the intimacy of the marital relationship, your spouse is well poised to hurt you. Avoiding conflict with your spouse as you navigate through this process is imperative to a healthy outcome. Adding to the complexity of divorce, especially with long term marriages, is that the things you care about and need most are tied in with your spouse. A “dirty” divorce destroys cherished relationships, wastes exorbitant amounts of money and savings, leaves the litigants angry, permanently scarred, dissatisfied, and often bankrupt. Families are often irretrievably broken. The damage from divorce is almost always permanent - irreversible. If there are children involved, even adult children, the damage is a family event life-altering.

Plan your divorce. Before you engage a conversation about divorce with your spouse, get informed and make a plan. Planning may help avoid much of the collateral damage. At our law office we try to help our clients understand their rights, set realistic goals, make a plan, and help the client actualize that plan. Schedule a “pre-divorce planning” consultation. Prepare for the consultation. Identify the issues, obstacles and concerns between you and the divorce. Outline your questions and concerns, then set in an appointment. We are more than happy to meet telephonically or in-person. The rate is $300 an hour. Payment is required in advance. If you are well prepared, after one or two hours, you should have a solid understanding of what your rights are; you should have or be able to plan your divorce; you will be prepared to engage a conversation with your spouse. This process may enable you to proceed with an uncontested divorce.

Whatever you decide, don’t fight – and Good Luck.