10 Nov 2015

10 Ways To Survive The Holidays While Going Through a Divorce

10 Ways To Survive The Holidays While Going Through a Divorce

 

As Halloween passes and you finally finish packing away the costumes and the candy, turning the calendar to November can seem as painful as wearing a beaded thong to the gym.  The holiday season becomes a catch 22 for most people who have gone through (or are going through) a divorce.  You love the idea of the holidays; but your mind inevitably goes full blown Christmas Carol on you and you’re being tortured by the Ghost of Christmas Past.  Only now, he’s got a buddy – The Ghost of Christmases That Will Never Be.  Is there a way to make it through the holiday season with your sanity (and sobriety) in tact?  Hold on, honey.  I’ve got you covered.

One.  Let go of what was.  Trying to re-create what the holidays ‘used to be’ is not only painful, it’s an exercise in futility.  Accept the fact that your life has changed, and that means your holidays have, too.  It doesn’t mean that they can’t be just as great, it means that they will be different.

Two.  Stop trying to make the holidays ‘Disneyland’ wonderful.  You’re going about this all wrong if you convince yourself you will need lights, bells and whistles to make your holiday shine.  A holiday isn’t amazing because it’s decked out in all of its former glory.  It’s amazing because the people you surround yourself with are happy, safe and warm.

Three.  Give yourself permission to suck.  Your first (few) holidays might be really tough to get through without a few tears and growing pains.  Making a dinner on your own, putting up a tree (why don’t those damned trees come with a large lumberjack to put them up?) or even hanging lights on the house might not be done “perfectly”.  And that’s okay.

Four.  Do something different. Just because you ‘always’ did it one way when you were married doesn’t mean you have to now.  If you always hated vacuuming up pine needles from the carpet, it’s time to buy a faux tree, or vice versa.  Make some changes in how you “do” the holidays and you will feel more in control.

Five.  Enlist help.  Whether it’s hiring a company to put up the Christmas lights or buying your entire dinner from Sudbury Farms, it’s okay to admit that you can’t do it all.  Once I learned to ask for help, I found that it freed up time that I could spend doing other things.  Like eating Christmas cookies.

Click the link to read the other 5 tips: http://bit.ly/1GV9DsG

 

We would recommend that couples should contact us for advice at the Law Office of Alice Pare at 301-515-1190 or visit our website at: https://www.alicelaw.com

Do not at any time take the risky move of going at it alone.  We have a wide choice when it comes to going it alone but with the professional advice you will need.

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