27 Jan 2016

7 Destructive Relationship Patterns

There are many things that can ruin a relationship – infidelity, addictions, ongoing poor and ineffective communication – to name but a few. However, there are many things that couples do that, at first glance, don’t always appear that detrimental. But, over time, the foundation of the relationship does get affected and they eventually become the bigger things – the bigger things that can irretrievably break the relationship.

Communicate through texting. Most of us are guilty of attempting to have a ‘too long’ conversation via text. However, problems will arise if this is the main way you communicate. So much communication is lost through texting because there is no element of body language – which is essential for effective communication and connection. Problems inherent in doing this are magnified when either one or both have been drinking – which many of the couples I see, do. Drinking not only decreases our inhibitions and ability to stay rational but increases our impairment with unclear thinking and poor decisions. It’s just a bad cocktail. Texts are seldom deleted and then brought up again and again because they are hurtful.

Lack of common courtesy. Whether it be when you are running late because of a work commitment or transportation is thwarted (bad traffic, delayed trains) people don’t take the 10 seconds it would take to communicate this to their partner/spouse. Just doing this would quickly diffuse a person’s anger – and fear. A lack of common courtesy is also happens when one person has been asked to do something and they don’t confer with their partner/spouse first. They continue to make unilateral decisions. Many people say they feel like they are asking permission and have the attitude that they ‘would rather ask for forgiveness than permission.’ But this is simply not true. By including them in your plans, you are creating a stronger bond and reinforcing the trust and ‘we are a team’ attitude.

Speak negatively of your partner or spouse. I have been in the company of others when one person speaks ill of their partner. Boy, that is uncomfortable, isn’t it? They do this in a ‘funny’ way, but it’s actually very hurtful to the other person. Although we all have those things that drive us nuts about our partner/spouse, saying those things in the company of others hurts both the person and the relationship and also reflects poorly on you.

For the rest of this list of pros and cons can be found here: http://huff.to/1nPu9T1

We would recommend that couples should contact us for advice at the Law Office of Alice Pare at 301-515-1190 or visit our website at: https://www.alicelaw.com

Do not at any time take the risky move of going at it alone.  We have a wide choice when it comes to going it alone but with the professional advice you will need.

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