So you think your spouse is cheating. The best thing that you could do is find out if that’s true and there are a lot of ways you can find out — but if you find out don’t confront your spouse, don’t tell your spouse that you know. Just wait and talk to a divorce attorney.
There are a lot of reasons that people cheat. You may think your spouse is cheating but not certain. You may see changes in their appearance. They might get dressed up more often and take a lot more pride in their appearance. They might be interested in going to the gym, doing things that they didn’t do before. All of a sudden there’s a change in that. Or there’s a change in attitude where there’s a lot more arguing. There is, or maybe the opposite, maybe no arguing, maybe indifference, but a change in attitude, a change in the interactions that your spouse has with you.
A change in sex life. It could be more sex. It could be less sex, but a change of fundamental change is very often an indication that your spouse is having an affair. Another thing they could fight with you fight with you more frequently, or look for an excuse to leave the house. Maybe as the result of an argument, maybe to go shopping, maybe all of the sudden they’re joining a gym, but a way to be out of the house, more often, a change in work schedule. Another type of argument is they might, they might vilify you. It’s all your fault, but you look for changes. Your life has been like this. And now it’s like that. There’s something at the bottom of that. It’s so easy to cheat today. There are so many opportunities, whether it’s with different kinds of online dating, to apps like WhatsApp, to other online ways to connect and meet people.
It’s easy and it’s worth knowing if you’re thinking about it, there’s a good chance that it’s happening there. A lot of technology, as much as technology may enable your spouse to cheat technology can also let you find out your spouse. One of the first things I would recommend to you is you get an app where you can spy on your spouse – on their cell phone or tablet. These apps work they’re very affordable. For as little as $10-15 for a monthly subscription, you can spy on the cell phone.
There there’s other types of technology that you can use. In addition to cell phone apps and using the cell phone, you can get your hands on your spouse’s cell phone. If you see text messages and so forth. And one of the keys that might let you know that your spouse is cheating and you want to look at the cell phone. If all of the sudden your spouse becomes more secretive with the cell phone, you see him or her texting or looking at the screen a lot, maybe perhaps receiving and reading a lot of texts where that didn’t happen before. That is a clear indication. You should get a cell phone app.
You might also monitor your partners social media activity. There are also apps (Google them to find examples) where you can spy on Tinder messages and Instagram, or you can monitor Facebook messenger or TikToK. There’s a lot of communication that happens on this site. In our law practice, we catch people cheating on their spouses fairly regularly using these methods.
Another thing that you can do is you can get a program, put it on your home computer that monitors the keystrokes and lets you re-enact them great way to get somebody’s past passwords. Great way to know who they’re talking to.
Another way is to check the garbage. Usually nobody thinks that you’re going to look in the garbage – but you can find use pregnancy tests, condom boxes, receipts from gifts, tags from clothing, and more. Checking the garbage is a relatively easy thing you can do on a frequent basis. In many cases, there is good evidence that has just been thrown away by the other party, just not even thinking that someone is going to go thru the garbage.
Another easy way to find out if there’s, if your partner is cheating, is you look at the monthly bank statements, whether it’s the credit card statement or the debit account statements, take a look at them. Are there restaurants there that you’re not familiar with? Is there a credit card or debit activity when you really thought that your spouse was at work? Take, take a close look at that. And that will, will give you some information. There may be hotel charges for example, but this is how you collect this information.
Another thing you can do is to put a GPS device right on the rear wheel hub of your partner’s car, and you will know where your partner’s going and how long they stay there. Typically the GPS devices work in tandem with your computer and we’ll give you a map of where he or she is, and how long they’re there. Plus you will know the addresses. And from there you can just like back check and see who lives at that address or what hotel that addresses at. And a GPS on the caris legal. At least here in the state of Maryland.
One of the things I wouldn’t tell you to do is put a voice activated recording device under the seat of your spouse’s car. I would not tell you to do that because it’s not legal. However, it could get good information. You can also use a spy camera. And there’s plenty of these. Whether you look on Amazon or an E-bay and they’re usually a device, some of them you put in the window or in a lamp under a lamp, or it might look like a basket of flowers and it’s actually a spy camera, but you can use this by camera and they can be set up. So it’s activated by motion. You might want to think about putting one of those in your house. If you’re concerned about your partner cheating, you can also look for signs. If your partner is in an affair or having an affair with a single person, and that’s going on very often, there’s an exchange of gifts. Often gifts are jewelry. Sometimes, maybe there’s like cards or something like that.
These things are very, very easily hidden. And they’re very often found in a closet in an old coat, in an old pair of jeans or something that your spouse is not wearing anymore. Look there. And perhaps you all find evidence there. Another thing you can do is you could take your spouse’s name and do a friends search on Facebook, see who your spouse is friends with. Spending a little bit of time going through social media can get a lot of information. In addition, there are “cheater” type websites – where you log into the website and put your spouse’s name and other people go into these websites and actually put the names of people who were cheating. It’s gratuitous information and it’s worth getting.
But the one thing that, that I’d like to leave you with, if you suspect your spouse is cheating, and then you catch your spouse, cheating, do not confront your spouse. Don’t do it. Don’t say to your spouse “I think you’re cheating”. Don’t say to your spouse, “I caught you cheating”. Talk to a lawyer and figure out what your options are, and then take a deep breath and think about where, what you want and where you want to go with the rest of your life, relative to the person cheating on you. I wish you a lot of luck. Hope you find nothing, but if you do give me a call.
Talk to an experience divorce attorney in Germantown
We have been helping clients through the divorce process for more than 30 years. Our team at Paré& Associates, LLC (formerly Law Office of Alice Paré) are experienced, compassionate and committed to helping you throughout your situation. Feel free to call us or visit us online to schedule an appointment.