How Can I Cope with Life After Divorce as a Man?
If your marriage failed and you’re going through a divorce, you’re wondering how you will move on with your life. The truth is that this is a trying moment, coupled with a lot of stress, worry, and uncertainty about what the future holds.
Despite the best efforts and support of your Germantown and Silver Spring family law attorneys, you may sometimes feel alone and unsure of how to move forward. The good thing is that all hope is not lost, and your divorce should not define you. Here are some strategies to help you adjust to your new life after divorce as a man.
Give Yourself Time to Process the Divorce
Regardless of how the divorce happened, it represents a loss, and a cascade of complicated emotions can arise from it. It’s normal to experience depression, anger, denial, and more. Some of these emotions may be directed at your ex-spouse and others to yourself. A rollercoaster of emotions is unpleasant but a crucial step toward healing.
So, it’s crucial that you give yourself time and space to process these emotions as they come. Men’s rights lawyers in Baltimore advise that you don’t dwell on negative emotions but shouldn’t ignore uncomfortable emotions either. Ensure you work through them so you don’t carry unnecessary emotional baggage into the future.
Build the Right Support System
If you struggle with the idea of working on your emotions or feel that you’re not making any emotional progress, consider finding the help of a therapist. They have the skills and knowledge to help you work through the emotions and forge the way forward.
At the same time, avoid people who remind you of your ex-spouse or keep telling you how much better things would be if your ex were still around. Don’t encourage pity parties, which only make you feel more depressed.
Instead, strive to interact more often with people who support and understand how you feel. Skilled men’s rights attorneys in Baltimore can provide the support you need based on their experience helping men through divorce.
When you started processing the dissolution of your marriage, you may have neglected some of your interests, hobbies, and passions. You probably don’t visit the social or recreational places you did with your family and avoid doing the things you did while you were still married.
Understandably, you may have lost interest because these places and activities gave you a specific identity. However, picking them up again can be a way to reconnect with your old self and re-learn your core personal values. Besides, it would help to try a new hobby or skill to focus your thoughts and energy on something other than the divorce.
Don’t Blame Yourself for the Divorce
Divorce is a two-way game, with both spouses being responsible for the end of their marriage. Sadly, most men bear the brunt of a failed relationship. Even if they may have been caring husbands and fathers, they are considered the greatest contributors to the failed relationship.
Consequently, their mental health takes a hit, with anxiety, guilt, and shame becoming the most common symptoms. If not addressed, self-blame can lead to depression for months and, sometimes, years. Avoid emotionally damaging yourself by transforming negative energy in a way that serves you.
Don’t Attempt to Reconnect with Your Ex-Wife
It’s normal to feel like you would want to make peace with your former spouse, but Baltimore men’s rights attorneys advise that you avoid reconciliation. Don’t attempt to escape from the realization that your ex is a part of your life that may never come back, and that’s okay. However, you can still talk and co-parent amicably for the sake of your children.
If you find yourself backsliding, don’t be too hard on yourself, but avoid getting stuck in the denial phase for long while begging to get back together. If you want to be happy again, strive to embrace and acknowledge the unknown and live through the challenging feelings.
Avoid Getting into Substance Abuse
Many men tend to indulge in binge drinking, overworking, and casual sex after divorce, hoping the behavior will help them cope with the negative emotions. Unfortunately, pursuing short-term gratification is the same as seeking a quick fix for your life, which is only temporary and may have more devastating effects.
An alternative way to activate the feel-good hormones is to exercise regularly. Create a workout schedule to help you cope with stress and anxiety. Exercise can uplift your mood, calm your senses, and energize your body. Consequently, you can sleep, feel, and live better without dwelling on the divorce.
Don’t Start a New Relationship Until You’re Ready
You may think that getting into a new relationship immediately after your divorce is the best way to get over your ex-wife. For some men, it’s always a way to revenge against their ex by proving they’re worthy of female attention.
Avoid starting an affair, as the strategy can be maladaptive and may worsen your relationship. It may also make you develop unnecessary psychological effects of divorce. Besides, you want a meaningful relationship to build on after your divorce instead of jumping from one relationship to another.
A Skilled Men’s Rights Lawyer Providing the Support You Need During Your Divorce
How long it takes to get through a divorce differs from one person to another. However, ensure you take time to grieve the loss and process the emotions to embrace the new normal. Don’t look for shortcuts or quick fixes, as doing so may only complicate the situation. Once you get through the emotions, you will find starting a new life and more meaningful relationships easier.
If you’re going through a divorce, you need as much social, psychological, and legal support as possible to help you get through this challenging time. Pare & Associates is a Germantown and Silver Springs law firm with an experienced team of men’s rights attorneys who can help you with various issues around your divorce. Call us at 301-962-2492 to schedule a FREE consultation.